White Canvas Shoes ([email protected])
Tue, 2 Feb 1999 02:08:02 -0600
> ----
> > >
> > > >>
> > > >>> Ireland for Beginners
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Pub etiquette:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> The crucial thing here is the "round" system, in which each
> > > >>> participant takes turns to "shout" an order. To the outsider,
this
> > > >>> may appear
> > > >>> casual; you will not necessarily be told it's your round and
other
> > > >>> participants may appear only too happy to substitute for you. But
> > > >>> make no mistake, your failure to "put your hand in your pocket"
> will
> > > >>> be noticed. People will mention it the moment you leave the room.
> The
> > > >>> reputation will follow you to the grave, whereafter it will
attach
> > > >>> to your offspring and possibly theirs as well. In some cases, it
> may
> > > >>> become permanently enshrined in a family nickname.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Woolly jumpers:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Ireland produces vast quantities of woollen knitwear and, under a
> > > >>> US/Irish trade agreement, American visitors may not return to the
> > > >>> States without a minimum of two sweaters, of which one at least
> must
> > > >>> be predominantly green. Airline staff may check that you have the
> > > >>> required documentation before you are allowed to disembark.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Irish people and the weather:
> > > >>>
> > > >>>
> > > >>>
> > > >>> It is often said that the Irish are a Mediterranean people who
only
> > > >>> come into their own when the sun shines on consecutive days
(which
> > > >>> it last did around the time of St Patrick). For this reason,
Irish
> > > >>> people dress for conditions in Palermo rather than Dublin; and it
> is
> > > >>> not unusual in March to see young people sipping cool beer
outside
> > > >>> citypubs and cafes, enjoying the air and the soft caress of
> hailstones
> > > >>> on their skin. The Irish attitude to weather is the ultimate
> triumph
> > > >>> of optimism
> > > >>> over experience: Every time it rains, we look up at the sky and
are
> > > >>> shocked and betrayed. Then we go out and buy a new umbrella.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Ireland has two time-zones:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> (1) Greenwich Mean Time and
> > > >>> (2) "local" time.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Local time can be anything between ten minutes and three days
> behind
> > > >>> GMT, depending on the position of the earth and the whereabouts
of
> > > >>> the man with the keys to the hall. Again, the Irish concept of
time
> > > >has
> > > >>> been influenced by the thinking of 20th century physicists, who
> hold
> > > >>> that it can only be measured by reference to another body and can
> > > >even be
> > > >>> affected by factors like acceleration. For instance, a policeman
> > > >>> entering a licensed premises in rural Ireland late at night is a
> > > >>> good example of another body from whom it can be reliably
inferred
> > > >that
> > > >>> it is fact closing time. When this happens, acceleration is the
> > > >advised
> > > >>> option; shockingly, the relativity argument is still not accepted
> as
> > > >>> a valid defence in the Irish courts.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Traditional music:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Many visitors to Ireland make the mistake of thinking of
> traditional
> > > >>> music as mere entertainment. In some parts of Ireland this may
even
> > > >>> be an accurate impression. However, in certain fundamentalist
> > > >>> strongholds such as Clare, traditional music is founded in a
strict
> > > >belief
> > > >>> system which has been handed on from generation to generation.
This
> > > >is
> > > >>> overseen by bearded holy men, sometimes called "Mullahs", who
> ensure
> > > >>> that the music is played in accordance with laws laid down in the
> 5th
> > > >>> century.
> > > >>> Under this system, "bodhran players" are required to cover their
> > > >>> faces in public. Other transgressions, such as attempting to play
> > > >guitar
> > > >>> in a traditional session, are punishable by the loss of one or
both
> > > >>> hands.
> > > >>> A blind eye may be turned to the misbehaviour of foreigners, but
> > > >>> it's best not to push it.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Irish Dancing:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> There are two main kinds of Irish dancing:
> > > >>> (1) Riverdance , which is now simultaneously running in every
major
> > > >>> city in the world except Ulan Bator and which some economists
> > > >>> believe is responsible for the Irish economic boom; and
> > > >>> (2) real Irish dancing, in which men do not wear frilly blouses
and
> > > >you
> > > >>> still may not express yourself, except in a written note to the
> > > >>adjudicators.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> The wearing of the green:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Strangely enough, Irish people tend to wear everything except
> green,
> > > >>> which is associated with too many national tragedies, including
> > > >>> 1798, the Famine and the current Irish rugby team. It's possible
> that
> > > >>> green just doesn't suit the Irish skin colour, which is generally
> > > >pale
> > > >>> blue (see Weather).
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Gaelic games:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> St Patrick's Day brings the climax of the club championships in
> > > >>> Gaelic games, which combine elements of the American sports of
> > > >gridiron
> > > >>> and baseball but are played with an intensity more associated
with
> > > >Mafia
> > > >>> turf wars. The two main games are "football" and "hurling", the
> > > >>> chief difference being that in football, the fights are unarmed.
> > > >There is
> > > >>> also "camogie," which is like hurling, except that in fights the
> > > >>> hair may be pulled as well.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Schools rugby:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> St Patrick's Day also brings the finals in schools rugby, a game
> > > >>> based around the skills of wrestling, kicking, gouging,
ear-biting,
> > > >and
> > > >>> assaults on other vulnerable body parts. The game is much prized
in
> > > >>> Ireland's better schools, where it's seen as an ideal grounding
for
> > > >>> careers in business and the law.
> > > >>
> > > >>> It is well-known that St Patrick
> > > >>> banished the snakes from Ireland. Less publicised is that he also
> > > >>> banished kangaroos, polar bears and Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs,
> all
> > > >>> of which were regarded as nuisances by the early Irish
Christians.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Signposting:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> In most countries, road signs are used to help motorists get from
> > > >>> one place to another. In Ireland, it's not so simple.
Sign-posting
> > > >here
> > > >>> is heavily influenced by Einstein's theories (either that or the
> > > >other
> > > >>> way round) of space/time, and works on the basis that there is no
> > > >>> fixed reference point in the universe, or not west of Mullingar
> > > >anyway.
> > > >>Instead, location and
> > > >>> distance may be different for every observer
> > > >>> and, frequently, for neighbouring road-signs.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> The good news is Language:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Ireland is officially bilingual, a fact which is reflected in the
> > > >>> road-signs. This allows you to get lost in both Irish and
English.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Clothes:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Visitors to Ireland in mid-March often ask: What clothes should I
> > > >>> bring?
> > > >>> The answer is: All of them!
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Religion:
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Ireland remains a deeply religious country, with the two main
> > > >>> denominations being "us" and "them". In the unlikely event you
are
> > > >>> asked which group you belong to, the correct answer is: "I'm an
> > > >>> atheist, thank God". Then change the subject.
> > > >>>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >
> > > >
> > --
> > Prarit....
> >
> > [email protected]
> > U2 news: http://www.members.home.net/u2-news/u2.html
> > U2 NEWS is MOVING -- AGAIN!!!!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b2 on Tue Feb 02 1999 - 00:16:10 PST